I think I’m learning more about myself. I’m learning how to navigate the mind map which has baffled me for the last sixteen years and although I’m nowhere near taking the shortcuts and venturing down the back alleys, I’m beginning to trust these main roads.
Sometimes I get so lost in my own thoughts that I confuse what’s in my mind with reality. A ten minute bus journey is all it takes for something to trigger a particular thought pattern and an entire series of events that are severely unlikely to happen will unfold within the depth of my mind. What is this? My imagination? Because I was taught that your imagination would help you design that story that your English teacher loves, but what I’m talking about just can’t be forced.
What I’m talking about isn’t something I can tap into, it’s happens naturally and plants seeds on the paths that can follow only a few directions: growing into a vast wisteria that strangles and torments me or blossoming into a flower that harvests the most beautiful of fruits.
If not my imagination, what is this? My curiosity or creativity? My tendency to explore tangents or my ability to fall hopelessly in love with the impossible?