31: Masks

It’s Halloween again.

It doesn’t seem like that long ago that I was wrapped in my bed sheet, running across a field. It certainly doesn’t feel as long as a year ago. In some ways, the scariest thing about Halloween is the fact that it reminds me how much time has passed. Since what, exactly? Not since anything. Just that’s passed.

Often, I don’t feel like dressing up at Halloween. It might be partly because I can’t pull off the look like everyone else, but it’s also because I don’t see why we are choosing to wear another mask. For the most of us, we are already wearing them anyway.

On a daily basis, the majority of us wear a mask. We smile at the co-worker that we would perhaps prefer to scream at. We wish our acquaintances a good day when, really, we wish for nothing of the sort for them. We nod and admit that we are doing great when an extended family member asks how we are doing, when in fact we’ve been having the worst of times. As humans, we wear masks and we lie.

To tell ourselves that Halloween is that one day we dress up and pretend to be something we are not is a lie in itself. To tell ourselves that it’s the only day a year we will wear a mask is a mask in itself. And maybe that’s scarier than any costume you might find.

But soon, Halloween will be over and the costume masks will be removed to reveal a more subtle of masks. It will be over and tomorrow will come, marking the first day of November; another day closer to the end of the year. The years go by too quickly but oh, how they go too slowly.

NaNoWriMo also starts tomorrow. I haven’t a single idea ready to be developed. I haven’t a single word of a plan written. I discarded all attempts at continuing my trilogy. That in itself is a defeat. Maybe, this Halloween, I’ll find the inspiration for a story that might actually go somewhere. Maybe it will be on the topic of masks? Only time will tell. Wish me luck.

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SJ

Blogging since '12.

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